Oh man episode 4 is what true accountability and confession looks like for me. Some of the most pivotal moments of my journey have been the moments I have had to look myself in the mirror owning and confessing all of my wrong and the truth conversations I’ve had with my mom where we both have held ourselves accountable. It so much I used to blame everyone for instead of holding my self accountable for my actions and the role I actively played in every phase.
My mom and I talk through her relationship with my dad and how all of what she was going through at the time had been internalized into her womb while pregnant leaving me to feel all of the painful emotions. We never intentionally think about how all of what we are going through/dealing with becomes a piece of who we are and what we produce.
We move into how my bad decisions affected my family. We get into how the effects of appearance come to a head as I go down a dark road during my college years and I actually end up discovering the moment I diminished my moms ability to be who she wanted to be, fueling the already existing resentment in our relationship.